I feel like we're on a countdown...only 46 more hours until the results.

A remarkable woman of faith, whose daughter was Carli's friend and killed in a car accident 5 years ago, brought me a book that helped her to focus on God after their tragedy. I highly recommend it for anyone going through trials (and which one of us isn't?? that is what life on this earth is about...). It is titled When God is Silent by Charles Swindoll. It is about Job and how he endured heartbreak, pain and rejection. He felt that God was silent. Yet through it all he stayed faithful and kept his focus on God. Wow. What a lesson!

A couple of things really stood out for me:
He has 3 practical statements that help us identify with Job's struggle-
1-There are days too dark for the sufferer to see the light
2-there are experiences too extreme for the hurting to have hope
3-there are valleys too deep for the anguished to find relief.

There were times when I could really relate to the above. I would have rather taken Carli's pain and nausea upon myself, but knew that wasn't an option. I learned so much from her when her faith was unwavering...

So, knowing that God is mysterious and appears to be silent, we DO know that He is trustworthy. In the book, he lists 3 lessons that we can learn from the Bible:
1-resist the temptation to explain everything. GOD KNOWS. The people that didn't try to explain her illness or how it might impact her were the most comforting.
2-focus on the future benefits, not the present pain. GOD LEADS. Carli said that
not one person that had experienced treatment for lymphoma said that they would
like to change their circumstances.
3-embrace the sovereignty of the Almighty; GOD CONTROLS.

We can ask God for healing, we can tell Him the desires of our hearts. But He ultimately decides our future, and I am so thankful that I don't have to be the one in control! When I think of past situations, God certainly worked things out better than I ever could have!

We learn by our trials. We are "refined by fire". We are not without hope! No matter what results we get on Tuesday, we are in God's hands. I am trusting in God to have worked through the chemo-we know that she is so much better than a year ago! But no matter what the results, we will get through this with the help of our family and friends.

This journey is by no means over after results on Tuesday. Even a good report means lots of testing for at least the next 5 years, surgery for the removal of the port, and having "cancer" in the back of your mind whenever any symptoms of any kind come up. That is the hard part-and where faith REALLY comes in.

Another thanks to all of you who keep us in your thoughts and your prayers. You have helped us so much!