Carli and Jeremy had a great weekend at camp. Jeremy's parents live near-by, so they had a nice visit with them. Today went rather smoothly, she only got nauseated for a brief time during the injection. She was happy that they couldn't use her port for the injection...she would rather have an IV started as she gets sick when they flush her port. She is looking forward to the day when she can have her port removed and the scar revised. It is rather ugly to her and is visible when she wears tank tops. This won't be quite as much of an issue until spring/summer. The changes that she has endured with such grace don't seem like much, but when you think of hair loss and scars in your neck and chest at age 22, it is a lot to handle. We are just praying that there are no other lasting side effects...

Today I said that I wish that we could get the results sooner than next week, and she said that she is just as happy waiting...I think that she just wants to be as normal as she can be for as long as she can be. She also said that if she has to drop out of school again for a stem cell transplant, so be it. She is just happy that it won't mean any more chemotherapy. I can't imagine how awful chemo must have been for her to say that. I don't think that anyone that hasn't gone through this can even have a glimpse as to how it feels and what it does to you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

She got an "A" for her intercession course, and that was very encouraging for her. She said that she didn't realize how sick she was last year, because now she gets up for class, has energy and can focus during her classes. If we had only known earlier how sick she was. But I am so happy that she is feeling so much better now--please keep praying for good results next Tuesday!!

"I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid." John 14:27

Tomorrow is the big day, although not as big as getting the results on Feb. 5. Carli and Jeremy are are their way back from Camp Friedenswald as I am writing this. She didn't call this weekend, so I am just assuming that they had a good time!

My dad is now settled in to Brennfield Nursing Home for a few weeks for PT and OT. Hopefully he will be able to return to his home and live independently again. He is discouraged at having to be in the nursing home, but at least his breathing seemed better today. Everyone there has been very nice, and he said that the food is good (that is the important thing to the Kohler family!!).

Thanks to everyone for their concern, thoughts, meals and prayers. I am being redundant when I say that we couldn't get through this without our faith, our friends and our family, but it is so true. We just put Carli in God's hands...

As of this morning, we are now empty nesters. How does that happen? One day you have 3 little girls running around, and the next they are all off doing their own thing. I must admit that it is a little harder than I expected. Throwing lymphoma and an ailing father in the mix sure doesn't help.

Carli says that she is doing "fine" and that she will be "fine". I am so glad that she has a good attitude and is excited to be back at school. It is nice knowing that Kelsie will be there, too, to let me know if there is anything that Carli isn't telling me! Not that Kelsie will be a snitch...but hopefully she will be if she needs to. Kelsie just emailed me and said that she is "going to die this semester". Her schedule is crazy hard...I hope that she decides what to do with her major BEFORE it kills her!!

My dad is slowly feeling better. He has a stress test this afternoon and then they will decide about the pacemaker. Sounds like they are pretty sure that they are going to insert one...then he will go to a nursing home for a while. He really doesn't want to, but we don't see any other way. Please pray for his healing and peace of mind. He is such a great guy, never complains...we are so blessed.

I just keep thanking God that this didn't happen during Carli's chemotherapy. One major thing at a time is enough right at the moment. I have to keep in mind that God knows the future...I don't have to...

Update

Dad is now home...they started him on Coumadin (a blood thinner to prevent a stroke) and changed his meds a little. His heart rate is better, but he is still in atrial fib/flutter. They don't know how long it has been like that. Brought him home late this afternoon, got his meds straightened out and left him in Susan's care. Visiting nurse is going to visit, too. He was really weak and very tired as he hadn't slept well in days.
The cardiologist's nurse said that he will see Dr. Tegtmeier in 4 weeks and then they will decide if they need to convert the heart rhythm or not. He will need to have frequent blood tests to monitor the coumadin. Please pray that between Susan, my other brothers and sister that we can keep this all straight! And that he will be strong enough to stay at home by himself...and strong enough to go back to his volunteer job at CAMO.
Carli emailed tonight and said that they got lots of snow...and she was bummed that she didn't have time to play in it! Thank God she is feeling good enough to even THINK of playing in the snow!!
I recently read a quote by C.S. Lewis that speaks to our struggles:
"God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world". I think that we've been roused! Now if I only will have the patience to listen...

Now it's my dad....

My dad has been very weak since Friday and unable to sleep due to being short of breath. So....took him to his family doc today who promptly sent him to the ER. From there they transferred him to Aultman Hospital in Canton, since that is where his cardiologist has privileges. He has an abnormal heart rhythm (atrial flutter) and congestive heart failure (which he has known about for a long time). As of tonight they are trying to decide how they are going to treat him, if at all. Otherwise, he looks pretty good and is not having any pain. Hopefully after more Lasix to get rid of fluid, he will be feeling better. The not so great part is that his cardiologist (whom we love) is on vacation! So it will take them a little longer to get things figured out. Hopefully we will know something by tomorrow.

My fear is that they will just send him home, and I am not sure that he will be able to take care of himself. So please pray that he will be strong enough...as he lives alone.

Carli looked good on Sunday...just saw her for a short time...intercession is harder than she thought...or at least is taking more time than she thought. She has her final exam on Saturday morning, and then is coming home and will take Kelsie back with her on Sunday. Let the empty nest begin.....

Carli called today and said that she has really been working hard. Her class has lots of reading and she said that this week she went to class, ate and studied. She hardly had time to leave her room! I wonder if it is hard for her to get back in the swing of studying...

She is in Canton tonight visiting with Jeremy and her friends Emily and Rob. She was in their wedding in November and hasn't seen them since. Carli and Jeremy are planning on coming to church in the morning, so it will be nice to see her and talk 1:1 about how she is REALLY doing.

Tara found out this week that she will be working on an oncology floor at Riverside Methodist Hospital in Columbus...she will be working with a preceptor and learning all that she can before she is done in May. I think that she will be able to bring a lot to her patients...and understanding that not everyone has. From now on it will be hard for her to have any time off...

Carli is back at Grove City!! When we were walking toward her dorm, she said "I'm back at school!!!!!!" and then did a little dance. It was nice to see her so happy. She is so glad that the friend that she had planned to room with in the fall was able to move in with her. Rachel is a very good friend and also in her sorority (she's her big sister) and they get along so well. So, Rachel was moving all of her things from her previous room and Carli was moving in all of her things...the room was still looking like a cyclone hit it when we left. Carli was tired, and hopefully she will get some sleep tonight. Her class starts tomorrow and she will have lots of reading, plus 4 hours of class a day.

Kelsie went with us and it was weird to bring her home again! She says that she is looking forward to 2 more weeks without studying. She is enjoying watching TV, which she doesn't have much time to do at GCC. Carli is planning on coming home in 2 weeks (to see Jeremy, not us!) and she will take Kelsie back to school. Will be very different for both of them to have their sister at school! Their rooms are in the same dorm, but the dorm is huge and they are on opposite sides. It's nice for me to know that they both have each other so close.

It was hard for me to leave Carli there, even though she was happy. I thought that I would be ready to let her go, but I guess I just got used to her being here. As her mom I worry about what she might ignore as far as her health is concerned. Hopefully she is smarter than that! She is also trying to figure out where she might go if she goes on the Red Box Mission trip that she was supposed to do last summer. We are thinking that Africa might not be the best in case she would need medical care.

Please continue to pray for good results on the 28th.

You don't realize how dependent you are on a computer until it's down. Ours is being fixed (we hope) and our wireless is not quite working. So, I log on with my work laptop whenever I can get the wireless to work. I am not computer savvy, so these things are beyond me!

Jeremy and Carli moved his things to Canton yesterday. He will be living with a guy that is now single again after losing his wife in a car accident 2 years ago. He is young and Jeremy says that he's real nice. Hopefully this will work out for both of them. Jeremy has an orientation tomorrow and then starts classes next week.

We will be moving Carli to Grove City tomorrow after church. She has everything packed and sitting in the living room. I am having many mixed emotions about her moving back. I am glad that she is moving on with her life, I am glad that we will have our house back again (her "nest" has been put away!), I am glad that she is feeling good enough to go back, I am glad that she seems happy and has more energy...but I am a mom and I worry about her. Her white blood count is very low, and she will have to be very careful especially during this cold and flu season. I am not sure that she understands the importance of staying away from germs right now. She has fortunately been as healthy as possible through this whole ordeal, and I don't want to see her get the typical illnesses that are floating around. Plus, it has been nice to have her around for these past 9 months-I will miss the cheerful greeting that I get when I come home from work! My emotions are on a roller-coaster.....

Kelsie will be home for 2 more weeks, so that will ease us into the empty nest situation. Hopefully I will have some time with her before she returns to school. Please pray for her as she is trying to decide what major to pursue...she is in engineering at the present, but is not sure it is really what she wants to do.

There are many stresses at the Gerber's this time of year..HEALTH, taxes, college payments, other payments....but then I received an email from friends in Kenya, and the situation there is very sad. Tribal wars and violence are taking place in areas that have been relatively calm, and families are being forced from their homes and there is not money to buy food. When I read this, I realize how fortunate we really are. We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. We are able to worship without fear. We have access to health care. And yet we whine and complain.....

So, "let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything that God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision-you'll see it yet!" Philippians 3:155 The Message.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Here we are...2008! Where did the past year go? I hope to have some time for reflection now that the holiday bustle is over. We had such a great time over the holidays and are so thankful for friends and family.

Jeremy's baptism was beautiful, his testimony was honest and sincere. It was nice that his parents could be here, and that we could get to know them better. We then went to lunch at Matso's in Wooster and introduced them and Darrell and DeeDee to our favorite Greek fare.

For NYE Carli and Jeremy met with camp friends in Cleveland to ring in the New Year. I am glad that they had a lazy night/day with a movie marathon. Ted and I decided at the last minute to go to Jane and Craig's in Clarion, PA. For many years we have gathered here with my friends from college, but this year Jane and Craig hosted and all we had to do was show up! It was so much fun...Cindy and Jeff from Twinsburg came, also. Craig is an excellent cook (when he is not on call) and we had amazing food. They live in a beautiful old Victorian home and it was decorated with Jane's creative flair. It was absolutely beautiful.

We always have fun talking about the past and looking forward to the future. It was very relaxing and I feel renewed...like I can face the world again! I have not been feeling well, but today feel like maybe I am turning the corner and headed toward health (just in time to return to work!).

Carli seemed very happy tonight as part of the group took a pit stop here for food and regrouping. They are such nice kids. I hope that she can keep in touch with them like I have with my college friends.

Tara was so excited about the response to her training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society...we have such amazing friends and family...THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!! EVERY dollar that she now raises goes directly to families afflicted by these diseases.

May we all start the New Year with the desire to grow in our relationship with God-I am not going to make any other New Year's resolutions!!

Please continue to pray for Carli...January 28....thanks!