Wow. Two days in a row! Carli is hoping to go to Michigan and Indiana this weekend to visit camp friends and to go to a wedding. This would really help her feel like she has some control over her life right now. Her hair continues to thin, but still looks good. We thank God for small mercies!

Another good day! Spent some time outside, now she is at a movie with a friend from GCC. I am so glad that I don't have much to report!

yea! Another good day! She slept in this morning, and then we went to Wooster and got our nails done (her gift to me for Mother's Day). We had a great time! Then the hard part...we went and picked up her wigs. They are both long, and very cute. I don't think that you would know they are wigs if you didn't know her. The color is exactly her color. Donna at Sheer Professionals in Wooster is the lady who helped us...I receommend her to anyone facing loss of hair. She was great, and gave Carli tips on care, styling, etc. Plus, she only charged the wholesale price...what a blessing she is to people! Carli's hair is falling out, but not by the handful yet. We are hoping that since she has such think hair, that she might keep it for a while. She really doesn't like the wigs, but I think that she will wear them when she goes out in public .

She hopes to go to camp over the weekend, go to a wedding, and be home in time for treatment on Wednesday. Would be wonderful if she felt good enough to go!

There is a song by Amy Grant titled "Carry You". It was given to me on a CD of wonderful Christian music by friends from church. I highly recommend it for reminding us that God does indeed carry us through the rough times.

Memorial Day and Kelsie's party

Carli actually felt pretty good today! We had lots of friends, church friends and family here for Kelsie's graduation party. It was so good to see many that we don't see very often, and also very good to have the support of our friends and family that are close by. We had so many great helpers, and we couldn't have done without the Kings, Nofsingers, Masts, Fitzwaters, Sloes, Gudakunsts, Davis's...hope I didn't forget anyone because my mental capacities are quite limited at this hour!

It was good to celebrate Kelsie and was also good for people to see Carli having a good day. Good fellowship, good food, better day for Carli, lots of sunshine...God is good.

Emotional day. Didn't feel up to going to church. When we got home, she was noticing that her hair was coming out more than usual. After thinking about it, we called Angie Steiner (who does my hair) and she graciously had us come right over. She measured Carli's hair to have enough for "Locks of Love" and then cut it in a cute layered style. Tara and I loved it, it was very hard for Carli to like it. Now she can send her very thick pony tail and know that it will help someone. But, we did shed a few tears and I'm sure that she will shed more as her hair continues to thin. I would like a miracle and not have it all fall out...

After resting, she went to Jackie's graduation party (neighbor and daughter of my good friend Diann). She got tired easily, didn't stay long, but at least she was out and about!

Abdomen still very "sore" tonight.

Not a good day. Called Dr. Stallings this morning just to make sure that her symptoms weren't anything unusual. Very tired, very achey, sore mouth....it's hard to know how to deal with everything. Hopefully as time passes we will find things that work for her.

Not feeling quite as good tonight. Starting to have the achy, bloated, yucky feeling all over. But, she still isn't nauseated, which is great. Her face hurts and feels puffy. Probably the result of steroids? It's hard to know what is causing what, and what to do about it. I've not recently dealt with chemo in my work, so am not really sure what to expect or how to deal with it. This is hard for nurse mom! But, I am finding that cancer has affected so many families...more than I had realized. Ted and I dealt with our mothers, and again with my stepmom, but it seems different with your 21 year old daughter.

Trying to get ready for Kelsie's graduation party. Praying for a sunny day, and great fellowship with friends and family. If Carli is feeling up to it, will be nice for her to see everyone. If she isn't feeling well, she might stay in her room so as not to be overwhelmed.

Read Psalm 77 last night after a message from a friend. It is exactly how we feel at times, yet in vs. 11 it says-"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds". This is what we have to do...meditate on the Lord. He will see us through!

God is good! She had a much better day today than with the last treament. She went in this morning and received more Zofran, Decadron, and fluids. She could actually ride home without getting sick. She is eating fairly well...guess I'll have to put some flowers in the bucket!! We hate to get rid of it, just in case. Guess that shows a little lack of faith, doesn't it?

I felt like it was Christmas today, it was so exciting to have her doing better. If this can continue, she might have some "normal" days this summer. She really wants to go to camp.

Thank you all for your prayers. She said tonight that even if this is the only time she feels this good after chemo, it is worth it! After having felt so lousy for so long, feeling even a little better will be a blessing. She is still very tired, but she can deal with that.

She is reading a book from Jeremy's mom, "If You Want to Walk on Water, You Have to Get Out of the Boat" . (sorry, i don't know how to underline with this). She is enjoying it recommends that I read it. I guess we will be learning through this trial how to have the faith to jump out of the boat.

Treatment #2 this morning. Saw Dr. Stallings first, then chemo. Tried Zofran today IV for the nausea. Plus she had the Emend pill to take before chemo. Thanks to meds and prayers, she had a much better night tonight than after chemo #1. She doesn't feel good, and is very tired, but she isn't vomiting!! Yea!!!!! Right now she is asleep on the couch.

She goes in tomorrow morning for more IV Zofran, IV Decadron, and fluids. Hopefully this is the winning combination!!!

Carli is feeling really good today. We went to order wigs...hopefully she won't lose her hair, but we want to be prepared if she does. It was strange, but the gal that helped us was so positive and helpful. Sheer Professionals in Wooster orders them at cost...as a help to cancer patients. What a wonderful ministry! They will style it for her and give her pointers. Carli did better with the whole ordeal than I thought that she would. Prayers certainly are helping.

She is going out with a friend tonight whose wedding she will be in on Novemeber 3. It is great to see her having some fun again, after so many weeks not feeling well and being on the couch.

Please pray for her tomorrow, her chemo appt. is at 9:30am. It will be hard for her now that she is feeling good...she said today that it is hard to make herself go when she knows she will feel so rotten when she comes home. Pray that she will have peace, and that they will have some new nausea meds to try.

Good day today! Carli didn't sleep much last night, but did have more energy today. She went with us to an encore presentation of "Godspell" to see Kelsie. She is tired, but feeling pretty normal.

I can't believe that they are talking about Hodgkin's on "Desperate Housewives". That is too weird! Carli said that she "feels so knowledgable". Who would've guessed that we'd be seeing this ordeal on TV!

We have been having conversations regarding her hair. I am praying that she might be one of the few that don't lose it. If she does have to go through that, she is planning on donating her hair to "Locks of Love". At least she will know that it will be put to good use.

Carli has a sense of humor today! She still is living on the couch, but is feeling better. She is still having GI issues, but hopefully with the next treatments they will have some different meds to try...please pray that they do!

Better day today! She said that she feels "more normal" but "still feels sick". Not exactly sure what that means...

She did go out to dinner with us tonight! It was great! It was fun to laugh and act like a normal family again. She had a good appetite but always feels sick after she eats. Hopefully we can get this all figured out before her next chemo on Wednesday.

I was at a conference today and a rep from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society was there. Found out some good information and ways that they can help. This is the charity that Tara ran the marathon for last fall. I guess that God knew that we would be involved in a deeper way with them!

Wednesday was still rough, hopefully today will be better. She was up at 4am, couldn't sleep. Her port is still very sore, but she had it checked by the surgeon yesterday and it is OK. Headaches and nausea are still a problem. Hopefully we can find some new meds that will work this next round of chemo.

Please pray that she can have a few 'feel good' days before her chemo next Wednesday.

Better day today! Carli actually took a shower and went to Kelsie's choir concert tonight! She was very tired when we got home, but she did real well. The concert was really good, and I have mixed emotions about it being the "last" one for the Gerber Girls. Kelsie is very ready to move on, so I guess we will have to be ready, too!!

Carli's appetite is improving, is now eating a piece of rhubarb pie....yea!

Please pray about her coursework from this semester. We thought that she could get credit and retake her science courses, but now we find out that isn't how it goes. She will either have to forfeit the whole semester, or take an "F" in chemistry due to the amount of work she missed. Hopefully we can get this worked out. One reason that we don't want to forfeit the semester (not counting losing the money!) is that we aren't sure what that would do with our health insurance. Please pray that God will intervene!! A friend sent an email about how we limit God-let's pray that he cares about this situation and that His hand will be in this situation.

Little better today...she finally is getting hungry for a few things. Still craving lemons, but they aren't kind to her mouth! She is still lightheaded, but she went outside and walked around the house this evening. First time she has been out of the house in almost a week!! She took the last steroid med today and that felt good to her. Has needed less nausea meds today...yea!!

Please continue to pray that she will have some "normal" days before she does this all again...and again...

She still is not feeling well. Her stomach is really bothering her and she gets dizzy when she's up. She has eaten a little today, however, and the weirdest things are still sounding good to her, but by the time that I fix it or find it, it doesn't sound good anymore. We are trying to get her to drink as much as possible, which is hard when everything tastes yucky.

She's looking forward to a good season finale of "Desperate Housewives"-we'll take what we can get! This afternoon she didn't even feel like watching TV or a movie, so the fact that she has it on now is encouraging.

Please pray that each day will find her feeling better.

Today was slightly better. She is still achey and nauseated, but with medication she can keep a little food down. Nothing sounds good to her as her mouth tastes funny and she has thrush. Had to call Dr. Stallings this morning for a prescription for her mouth...that certainly doesn't help her appetite any. Right now she is eating a lemon...it hurts but it tastes good. I would have never thought of offering lemons...go figure!

She is hoping maybe tomorrow is the charm. That would be the best Mother's Day gift in the world!

Tonight after she gets off of work, we are taking Kelsie out for her 18th birthday. Todd and Tara are here, so will be fun, but we will miss not having Carli along.

We want to wish everyone at GCC good luck on finals!!!

rough day

Carli had a rough day today with continuing nausea, achiness, and sore mouth. I went to work to give her some peace and quiet and kept tabs by phone. Tonight she is trying to eat a little dry cereal and some peanut butter. When I can't even entice her with ice cream or sherbet from the DariEtte you know it's bad! It is so frustrating for her mom, the nurse, not to be able to do anything to make her feel better.

The hardest thing is that she is already dreading the next treatment, and I can't say that I blame her. She didn't expect it to be this bad. This is like having a nightmare that won't let you wake up. She is getting encouragement from her friends, especially her sorority, so that helps a lot.

Kelsie came home from Camp Wanake all bubbly and tanned. What a great week they had with the 6th grade outdoor education folks. Tomorrow is her 18th birthday...where did the time go?

We covet your prayers for her to be more comfortable tomorrow...we need to celebrate a birthday!

Just wanted some good news for a change...Kelsie looked beautiful and had a great time at the prom last Friday!!

Carli had a rough night and when I called the doc in the morning to check on meds, they had us come in and they gave her fluids, Ativan and Decadron. She was really sick while there, which was hard but good that they could see that she wasn't just whining! In the meantime I picked up more medications...most for the nausea. This is hard for someone who hardly ever took Tylenol for a headache because she didn't like to put drugs in her body! Then before we left they gave her the magic shot (which really stung) that will stimulate her White Blood Cells.

Please pray that this nausea and vomiting subsides. Not only is it so miserable now, it will make her really dread the next treatment. She goes in again on the 23rd.

It is so hard to watch, and the helpless feeling that I have is almost overwhelming. I told her to just imagine that the medicine is attacking all of the cancer cells and they are being killed. This is a spiritual battle in more ways than one, and I don't even know how to pray at times. That is where all of you come in! I appreciate the prayer warriors that are all over the world-keep it up!

The journey has begun...she was at the oncologist's about 5 hours today. She was anemic, so they delayed treatment until they were sure what the doc wanted to do. He kept things the same...4 chemo drugs, 3 push and 1 IV. The first push drug made her really sick, so they stopped it and gave the others first. THen they gave the first one and she tolerated it pretty well. They gave her IV meds for nausea.

It was so hard to watch them giving her toxic medications, and her port is still really sore so it wasn't comfortable. Now tonight she feels terrible and is nauseated. Please pray that this is short-lived.

She goes back tomorrow for an injection that stimulates the bone marrow and we get some different nausea pills. (The injections cost $3000 each...thank God for our insurance which will pay most of it!!!!). She gets the injection after every treatment.

We are continually blessed by our friends, family and neighbors.

Carli had her port placed this morning and was only in the hospital about 4 hours. Then Ted, Carli and I went to Dr. Stallings office and met with the nurse who explained all of her chemo drugs. Was very hard to hear the side effects-especially the losing hair, heart and lung problems and possible infertility. Please pray that long term side effects are minimal. Losing her hair and another scar on her chest are really bothering her now. At my age, I know that those are minimal concerns, but at 21, they are huge.

Carli is scheduled for her first chemo treatment tomorrow morning at 10:30. She can have it done at Dr. Stalling's office. They have la-z-boy recliners and it will take about 2 1/2 hours. She can take her DVD player and finally watch the movies that she never has time to see!! She will have treatments every other week, with a doctor visit and labwork. So, will probably take at least half a day to get it accomplished.

She also called Camp Friedenswald and they have a job for her when she feels well enough to drive up there (it's in lower western Michigan). That really made her day. Please pray that on the "off" week she will feel like going. That would make this summer tolerable for her. (and maybe the rest of us, too :) She really hasn't been at home for any length of time since she graduated from high school, so it is an adjustment for all of us.

Again, THANK YOU for all of the cards, prayers, food...it really means a lot, especially when we don't have the energy to think about cooking, etc. Your friendship keeps us going.

God has promised to walk with us, and we see evidence of this every day!

We found out today that Carli needed to see a surgeon for a port insertion. The doctor that was suggested couldn't see her until the 18th! Needless to say, that was not soon enough! So, after a few phone calls, I got her in with his partner this afternoon!! And, the good part, he got her on the surgery schedule for tomorrow morning! She goes to Wooster Community in the morning...and as I'm writing this, Ted is on the phone with Stalling's office and now they want an echocardiogram. SO, her treatment will not happen tomorrow as planned, she will go in tomorrow for the port insertion, get an echo, and have chemo on Wednesday.

She is really down today, I don't think that it really hit her until we had everything scheduled. She is worried about scars, hair, all of the things that a 21 year old would worry about. She is tired and I don't think that she realizes how much this is taking out of her. Please pray that things go smoothly tomorrow and Wednesday when she gets her first treatment.

Carli with a few of her Senior friends
Carli and her roommate, Emily
A few of the freshmen on her hall Red Box missionaries past and present

This weekend was good but tiring for Carli. As you can imagine, she was bombarded by friends and saying good-bye to her senior friends who are graduating was hard. But, she was glad for the opportunity. She has gotten very close to the other RA's and they had a meeting yesterday and said their good-byes. She is still hoping to return in the fall to be an RA again. (Keep that one in your prayers!)

In the chapel service yesterday they had a nice commissioning service for the students going on the Red Box Missions. They still included Carli, even though she is postponing her trip to Africa. What a great group of 6 kids who are going to Tanzania, Uganda, Italy, Malawi, and I can't remember where else!

Now we are waiting to hear from Dr. Stalling's office regarding getting the treatments started. Please pray that we hear something today, as the waiting is still hard. We know that we are trusting God to work out the details, but He needs to give me more patience!!

Pray for Kelsie this week as she is an outdoor ed counselor for 6th grade girls...overnight at Camp Wananke until Friday. She probably will really need patience!!

Carli called this afternoon with some positive news...12 hours out of 18 this semester can be completed with some tutoring from her professors and some extra work. The other courses are science courses and will have to be repeated. But, that is better than repeating the whole semester!!
And the best news for her, she can postpone her mission trip until next summer! The professor in charge said that he will keep the money that would have paid for her stay this summer until next, even if she can graduate on time. So, she just might get to Africa soon after all!

Kelsie went to the prom tonight, Ted and I went for a while (school board members get to go :) She looked beautiful and was having a good time dancing when we left.

We are going to Grove City tomorrow and Sunday for Parent's weekend and will move Carli's stuff home.

God is good, and is answering prayers. Thanks to all of you for being faithful.

5:50 pm...The clock is off on this thing, and, of course, I am not techilogically gifted to be able to change it...my computer is correct...just this blog is off...

Against my better wishes, Carli drove to Grove City College today. They were having a RD banquet tonight, and she just wants to see her friends! She felt really lousy last night with a temp of 103, but felt OK today. That's the way it's been, off and on. Hopefully she won't get too bombarded at school and can just have fun, especially with the seniors that will be graduating.

We hopefully will find out when her treatments start by tomorrow. I am anxious to get started because she has fairly large areas in her chest...don't need any other problems right now.

Friends and family have been wonderful. Please keep praying - we can't stop now! God is good.

5:50pm-we feel like a weight has been lifted! The Cleveland Clinic Taussig Cancer Center was great, the nurses were helpful, the resident was knowledgable, and Dr. Sweetenham (or Dr. Sweetie Pie as Carli affectionately calls him, just because she couldn't remember his real name) was calm and acted like he had all day to talk to us and answer questions.

She does have Hodgkins, and will need chemotherapy only for 6-8 months, every other week. Some people have more side effects than others, some lose their hair and some don't. This particular type has a 90% cure rate, which we are very greatful for.

She can receive these treatments in Wooster, and the nurse was going to call and get the ball rolling. They would like her to start in the next "few days to a week". The doctor felt the sooner the better, which is what we have been trying to get accomplished all along! Craig and Jane again facilitated getting all of the results to the clinic, which was an answer to prayer.

Carli is still trying to come to terms with the diagnosis of cancer, but is happy that she can still do some of the things that she wants to if she feels well enough. He really didn't say that there was much that she couldn't do, as long as she felt like it. He said that she should be able to tell how she is going to feel/react within the first couple of treatments. He said that she could go to Camp Friedenswald for a week between treatments if she felt good enough. THat made her happy!!

Thanks to Kathy Mast, I didn't have to cook when we came home. It is surprising how tired this day made all of us! But, Praise God that it is treatable, and that the outcomes are usually good. Thanks to all for your prayers....don't let up yet! I could tell that I had a sense of peace today...God is faithful, and so are our friends and family!!

The visits from Carli's friends really helped her this weekend. By evening she is very tired and achy, but at least she finally got out of the house! She has amazing friends, as do we. Can you imagine heaven?? Being somewhere with the people you love without thinking about the cares of this world. Wow.

Carli and I are going to try a little shopping today. What better to do while waiting :)

Please pray for Tara who has very big finals today and tomorrow. She has had to keep studying and concentrating during all of this.

Also pray that we will get positive news tomorrow. No surpises!